In Gratitude

After 33 years of private practice, the time has come for me to retire. And while mourning the closure of this chapter of my life no doubts awaits me, at this moment my primary emotion is one of deep gratitude for a long career in which I learned from those I served.

Advanced Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner was my second licensure. My first specialization was as a Critical Care Nurse. It was there that I was first introduced to the myriad of ways our health, (physical, mental and spiritual), deteriorates along the course of our lives landing us in those units. While many of the acute medical concerns I witnessed were secondary to accidents or sudden illness (the current pandemic serving as a prime example), many other of those concerns were years in the making. I became curious as to how I might enter into the story of a patient earlier. How might I intervene before severe illness followed chronic. How I might effectively teach healthy alternatives. How I might make a pre-emptive difference.

So in 1984 I switched gears. I returned to school and earned my masters in Stress Management, then a Board Certification in Adult Mental Health, followed by licensure in medication management. I smile as I think back to that young woman who felt, at best, cautiously equipped. Nonetheless, armed with that collection of wisdom, into the field I marched. Little did I recognize then the true gifts that awaited me.

And now, all these years later, I have the benefit of hindsight. For while I was fortunate enough to achieve my original practice goals, I received far more than I ever anticipated from my patients in return. The courage, resilience, determination, kindness, and natural grace of the individuals I had the honor to serve these past decades represents the primary legacy of my career. How I have learned from their example. How I have benefitted from their feedback. How I have been humbled by their tolerance when we hit hurdles in the delivery of care.

I am unsure what is next for me professionally. While I know my private practice years have come to a close, my passion for the field of mental health remains strong. And I will find ways to remain active as an advocate for psychiatric best practices. In the meantime, what will sustain me is the memory of the hundreds of folks who crossed my professional path. You have helped forge not only a better professional, but a better person. I hold you all in profound gratitude.